When entering the real world I feel like dating is something that mature adults partake in. I mean sure, I’ve gone on dates with boyfriends before or grabbed breakfast the morning after. But a real date is usually considered something you do with someone new who you’ve never been one-on-one with. It’s scary, weird, and can go downhill pretty quickly.
I wish I could spit out advice on just being yourself or tips on what to wear. But, in reality, I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m just here to vent about some pretty interesting experiences I gotten myself into in the past.
My first “date” ever wasn’t even a real thing. When visiting one of my best friends at Penn State sophomore year we met this guy at a party and apparently we really hit it off. We left that night with an open idea that we should go on a double date with him and his older brother since they were from our hometown (dumb, dumb, dumb). So, when my friend and I returned home for winter break, we somehow planned and made this double date happen.
When the big day came, we ended up going out to dinner with this guy and his older brother (I can’t even remember his brothers’ name…and he was my date) and you think it would be fine, me out to dinner with my best friend should be simple. Nope. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. The dinner was an uncomfortable experience all around. We weren’t of age to drink so we were sober—there’s problem A. Problem B was that we didn’t have anything to talk about. I don’t go to Penn State; I know nothing about Penn State.
“Like. Hi, I’m Stephanie and I go to school 400 miles away from you. Bye.”
Obviously that didn’t go well. We could have easily talked about tons of other things but in reality I don’t really think either of us wanted the conversation to continue at all. Then, the topic of convo took a turn for the twisted and not even I, a complete and total chatterbox, could have saved it from its doom. The topic of porn and sex positions came up and that’s when we knew the date was over. The boys were weird, we were freaked out, and we were not about to order desert. All I can say is I am so happy we drove ourselves there.
My next and most recent double date was with a dude who I will refer to as “camper boy.” I had met this guy at a house party (surprise) and we somehow exchanged numbers. He was super eager to hang out with me (cute or creepy? You decide,) but because of sorority rush I wouldn’t be able to for two weeks. I constantly had to reject him because I was busy and his plans just didn’t seem to work out with my schedule. I really thought he had given up after the third rejection, but out of the blue he invited me to go to trivia with him and his roommates. I agreed and told him I was bringing one of my sorority sisters.
Pre-date I was literally freaking out. Pacing in circles in my friends bedroom, I kept saying, “this is real life! We are real adults!” and then preceded to bitch about how nervous I was. Three shots later we somehow ended up at Trivia. We walked into the bar and the only thing I knew about this guy is that he’s 6’6”…great. When I finally spotted him, we stared at each other for a while and I just pretend to play with my iPhone. Finally, my friend and I ordered drinks and met up with this dude and his posse. We headed upstairs to a more intimate setting and began chatting about random things. The date was going pretty smoothly and things seemed to be positive for both my friend and I. We headed to the bathroom to obviously gossip about the guys we could potentially be shacking up. We agreed things were good and should just continue to go with the flow. Well. We were wrong.
After a second drink things got weird and me and my boo ran out of things to talk about. I mean really, do I seem like someone who would date someone who loved to go camping? He talked about the West and the great outdoors for a good thirty minutes and I just wanted to talk about Paris. The tavern closed at midnight (thank God) and we all had a decision to make. Head back to college town and go to a local bar or go home. My friend and I were definitely down for the bars and we kind of convinced the guys to come with us. WHY. This was problem A. I should have realized that continuing the awkward conversation to another location would not have made it better. I’m so dumb.
When we finally get to the bar I spot some of my friends right away. Attempting to be polite, I tried to talk to camping boy but he had nothing exciting to say. Like at least if we have nothing to chat about you could make a move. Nope, nothing. He kept his hands to himself. This is when I said goodbye and ended up ditching him completely. I don’t think camping boy was very pleased with me abandoning him since as he was leaving the bar he said he would call me. Never got that call, thank God.
- When going on a date make sure to drink alcohol beforehand
- Actually know if you have anything in common with this dude
- If the date is going downhill, get out, fast
- Changing the date to another location will not make it more exciting, especially if it’s bad to begin with
(Note: my first date was nothing like this song)
“Single Girl” is tired of hooking up with random dudes at frat parties, dealing with men leading her on, and always having to make the first move. Dealing with the unfortunate scene of college dating, “Single Girl” tackles the topics of love, lust, and relationships.