Break Up / Friends / The Ex Files

The “Stuff” That Happens Post Break Up

I’d like to be optimistic and say that most break ups end well. A few tears are shed, you hug it out, and then move on. But who am I kidding? That’s complete BS and any girl who’s dealt with a douchey ex in the past knows that ending things can be depressing and downright vicious. Think “Mean Girls” cafeteria fight but with words used like daggers–catch my drift?

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Once you stop crying (or tumbling passive aggressive pictures) and realize that things will be okay, you start to notice the “stuff.” You know, his stuff. Everywhere. In your room. In your apartment. All of his junk that you once held like a prized possession. His favorite hoodie from college, the stuffed animal bear he mailed to you while you were away at school, and the necklace he bought you on valentines day.

Then you notice the pictures. The one in the frame next to your bed. The profile picture on your Facebook. Maybe even the snapshot from formal on the background on your phone. You can’t get away from this guy, no matter what. It’s like he’s following you. Restraining order much?

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If you’re highly emotional like myself, you probably gathered all his items, placed them in a Bloomingdale’s bag, and dropped them off on his doorstep. Every once in a while you’ll think about his stuff, maybe even miss an object or two, but eventually move on. So what do you do when you become best friends with your ex four years later?

This past winter break, one of my best friends/former boyfriend and I grabbed a bottle of wine and broke into the Bloomie’s bag. It was hilarious, sad, and entertaining. Everything from our relationship was in there including things we allowed to slip from our minds. We were reminded of inside jokes, stupid shit we did together, and songs we use to listen to. As we shuffled through the bag we had three piles–his, hers, and throw away. It was almost symbolic–after taking everything away (the fights and tears) and keeping them to ourselves, we went through and decided to keep the best memories. We threw away the bad and kept the good.

Most people aren’t fortune enough to do what I did but if you get the opportunity you should. Holding onto negative feelings won’t get you anywhere–and the bonus in all of this? You finally get to take your favorite stuff back without seeming like a creepy ex girlfriend. Score.

Sorry I'm Not Sorry

Sorry I’m Not Sorry

 

“Single Girl” is tired of hooking up with random dudes at frat parties, dealing with men leading her on, and always having to make the first move. Dealing with the unfortunate scene of college dating, “Single Girl” tackles the topics of love, lust, and relationships. 

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