Instead of writing an essay that is due in 45 minutes, I’m on Facebook stalking random people. You know how that goes, one minute you’re on your best friends page, then you click on mutual friends, and then somehow you’re on your best friends ex boyfriends mothers Facebook page. We’ve all done it. So, to my unfortunate surprise I somehow end up on my ex boyfriends Facebook page (I seriously promise I’m not creepy). And all of a sudden this intense emotion overcame me. I was sad, angry, confused, and happy all at the same time. WHAT? Is this a Taylor Swift song?
First of all, these emotions are irrational as I don’t care about my ex at all. I haven’t in a year. It’s like I’m over it. I’m never forgiving you for being an awful, treacherous human but, I’m over you. I don’t cry about you. I don’t think about you. I just don’t. Get it? So why am I feeling this way? Because I still blame myself (which is dumb because I’m fabulous, duh).
Let’s back up: this dude and I dated for a signifiant amount of time and then he broke up with me via Skype phone call while I was abroad (catch the story here). He couldn’t keep a long distance relationship. Fine. But then I go on his Facebook and his profile picture is with her. You know, the girl he dated after me. Then I start to think how the hell is he able to have a long distance with another girl while living across the country? Isn’t it not his “thing”? This is a big no-no my friends. How is it that this girl is able to hold onto him but I’m not? Since I’m a cliche 22 year old female, of course my stream of thought is like so:
“What’s wrong with me? Like I’m so much prettier then her. I actually tried in our relationship. Relationships are stupid. This is absurd. I shouldn’t be pissed. But seriously, what does he see in her? How is it that he can try with her and not with me? What a (insert at least five expletives here). I should have never dated him.”
Fortunately, after chatting with one of my best girlfriends, I realized that I’m not the only person who’s ever felt this way. For some strange reason men make us feel like this. They make us feel like we didn’t try hard enough, that we are the wrong ones in the relationship. Well guess what? Not anymore! According to a 2010 survey completed by both men and women 96% of women feel guilty at least once a day, we beat ourselves up daily over friendships, relationships, work and body shape. Women are also more likely to blame themselves for negative situations, while men are more likely to point their fingers at external factors.
That being said, next time something like this bothers you, think about who is actually to blame. Maybe that sounds immature, but you shouldn’t be taking for heat for something you can’t control. If you’re honest with yourself and think a situation out, you’d be surprised as how so many things are out of your control. I can’t help it if my ex boyfriend was a coward who couldn’t handle a relationship. I did everything I could. I tried. I was a wonderful girlfriend. It’s not my fault it didn’t work out. It wasn’t meant to be. Stop blaming yourselves and start putting the finger on the right culprit! So no, Taylor, the blame is not on you, it’s on trouble.
“Single Girl” is tired of hooking up with random dudes at frat parties, dealing with men leading her on, and always having to make the first move. Dealing with the unfortunate scene of college dating, “Single Girl” tackles the topics of love, lust, and relationships.