Dating / Relationships

Why Do You Think You’re Single? Part 2

Name: Rebecca

Why You Think You’re Single:

Rebecca: I have a fear of rejection, and I also don’t put myself out there enough. I have specific requirements when I look at men, which is probably why I’m single. I also want commitment, not a one night stand. I feel like young women need some emotion coming from the relationship before they make a decision to go into a relationship. In college, I feel men are in it for the “score.” Even if the girl was ugly, the hookup was a score and all bros love a good story. So do girls, but those stories aren’t about tallying up hookups. They’re about what he looked like, what he does, and even what he smelled like. (Some people, like me, are into that. There’s nothing worse than cheap cologne. But spray some Armani, and I’m stuck on you!)

Male Response: Naturally, no one likes being rejected, hell I don’t. The feeling sucks and can put you in a sour mood, however in my experience I’ve learned that the rejection stems from having too high of expectations. If you’re always looking for the guy that fits every criteria you’re looking for it’s going to be hard, every guy is different. Some men are into commitments and like to make their female counterpart feel like she’s wanted. I know plenty of guys, me included, that go out of their way to say that one-night stands are not for them. Even if that’s not the case, plenty of relationships develop from a simple hookup. (And any guy should stay away from cheap cologne.)


Do you want to be single:

Rebecca: No. I’m tired of riding solo. It’s time for me to be with someone and share moments with. That probably sounds a lot like marriage, but I’m not ready for that yet. I’m confident in myself and where I’m going in life, and I want to talk to someone at the end of my day other than a girl.

Male Response: There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship, its perfectly natural to want a connection that you share with someone that no one else has with said person. The beauty of youth is going through past experiences and learning, adapting from those experiences. If you’re looking for a relationship go out there and pursue it.

Are there characteristics you have that would “scare” a boy away:

Rebecca: None that I can think of, except that I really like eating. I feel that could scare some guys away, but I’m hearing that guys don’t like it when girls order a salad on dates. Apparently, they’re tired of girls being dainty as they eat. I can be analytical at times.

Male Response: Nothing wrong with really liking to eat, it is how people stay alive. But some guys can be turned off when a girl can be an even bigger carnivore than them. That being said, being sure of yourself and not caring what others think, i.e. eating habits, can show self-assuredness. Which can be a turn on of itself. I see being analytical as a sign of caring I’m the same way, however it can lead to over thinking, which never ends well.


What do you want from guys/do you think this is reasonable:

Rebecca: I want a guy that sweeps me off my feet (literally), cradles my face in his hands, and kisses me passionately, even if I look like shit. I want a guy that surprises me randomly with flowers after a long day at work. Looks should be a factor, but not the whole package. I want a guy to love me for me, appreciate me and all of my quirks, and encourage me to strive for everything I want in life. I want him to support me, laugh with me, wipe my tears, and obvi pay the bill when we go out to dinner. I want guys to stop focusing on the outside (looks, smile, boobs) and focus on the inside (personality, intelligence). There’s so much more to girls than a pretty face. She might be gorgeous, but what do you talk about?

My description might seem unattainable, but I think its possible to reach. Its obvi not possible to achieve every single thing I listed above, but if I can find someone that understands me and loves me unconditionally, then I’m a happy woman. Most importantly, I want someone loyal. Loyalty is impossible on a college campus, unless you follow your boyfriend with surveillance equipment.

Male Response: It’s a little unreasonable what you’re asking for in a guy. This is 21st century America, not every man is going to be a shining beacon of chivalry. There are going to be things that your man won’t like, and that’s healthy; it shows that he thinks about you, cares about you. I do agree with you that focusing on the inside is very important. If you want him to realize what a great personality you have, go and show him. He’s more likely to reciprocate as well, seeing that she’s more than just a pretty face. (Hot girls, who do not act as hot as they are, down to earth, definitely make them exponentially more attractive.)


What do you think a guy would say about why you’re single:

Rebecca: This isn’t to be haughty, but I’ve had a few guys tell me I’m too pretty to single. I have to agree with them. I think guys would say I’m too quiet and don’t put myself out there. I think guys would tell me to interact more with them and just to get out there more.

Male Response: Definitely, going out there and interacting would put you out there more. A pretty face can intimidate some guys; it shows a certain unattainability that in reality is nonexistent. I’m not saying go and strike up a conversation with every guy out there, just get out of your comfort zone every once in a while, strike up conversation, show that you’re enjoying yourself. A guy will appreciate the attention and see more than just a pretty face. We’re in the modern age; it’s not solely on the man to be aggressive.

Anything else:

Rebecca: After college, I hope to meet someone and embark on my first relationship. Like I said earlier, I’ve had enough of the single life and have no interest in hooking up. I want a smart, funny, EMPLOYED guy who smells like heaven and likes watching sunday football. I’ll make him brownies, I don’t care. It’s time for me to go out there and meet a hottie!

Male Response: College is the take to see what you’re into/ not into. It seems like you have an idea of what you’re looking for in terms of a relationship post-college. If you’re tired of the single life, go out and find someone who’s grounded in life and wants the same from their significant other. (BTW sandwiches are much easier than brownies, and taste better!)

“Single Girl” is tired of hooking up with random dudes at frat parties, dealing with men leading her on, and always having to make the first move. Dealing with the unfortunate scene of college dating, “Single Girl” tackles the topics of love, lust, and relationships. 


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