When you’re in a relationship, hooking up with someone, or just going back for a casual one-night stand, there is a pretty high chance you and your dude will have a slumber party. Unfortunately, I don’t mean the cliché pillow fights, gossiping about guys, playing Mystery Date, and watching The Notebook while munching on endless amounts of popcorn (I really miss those days). What I mean is literally sleeping in a bed next to him, sharing space, and figuring out this whole cuddling thing.
At first, things may be awkward—you have to learn a dynamic of how he sleeps and, if this is the first time then you’ll have to figure out if you should cuddle or veer as close to the wall as possible. Guys don’t really think when a girl is sleeping over (not that they ever do…); they’ll still do their gross man habits and not even think twice of it. Meanwhile, we’re laying in bed freaking out about our breath and makeup (sometimes I think life would be easier as a man). Regardless of your situation, after some practice, sleeping with your dude will become easier and more desirable.
After getting into a routine (sleeping at his place on specific days and vice versa), you’ll start to realize how nice it is to wake up next to someone. You’ll have someone to grab breakfast with and get ready with. Then suddenly, the worst thing happens…something somehow gets in the way of your sleepover schedule and you’re forced to stay at home a night or two…alone.
It sounds dramatic but, as an avid slumber party go-er, it’s harder to do then you think. All of a sudden I can’t stop tossing and turning, I won’t sleep no matter what, and I’m just not comfortable. Surprisingly, I’m not crazy and this happens to women who are use to a similar routine.
In 2009 Dr. Troxel, a sleep expert, conducted a study which stated that women in stable relationships fell asleep more quickly and had deeper, more restful nights compared to single women. Branching off of this topic, according to Dr. Jason Ellis, a chartered psychologist for sleep research, women receive more benefits from sharing a bed than men do. Benefits are more psychological and include feelings of enjoyment and refreshment. Women also will become less stressed and feel more safe when sleeping with men.
But guys, don’t think this is just a one sided thing—studies have shown that couples who sleep together have lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol as well as increase oxytocin, the “love hormone” (calm down…). Oxytocin helps build bonds between men and women, creating a feeling of closeness. So, don’t worry if you sleep with her she’s not going to suddenly be in love with you.
So, next time your dude tries to give you a hard time or doesn’t like when you have to wake up earlier then him, remind him of these benefits. Or, if you’d rather just have to bed for yourself at night I suggest buying a body pillow—an investment you definitely won’t regret.
“Single Girl” is tired of hooking up with random dudes at frat parties, dealing with men leading her on, and always having to make the first move. Dealing with the unfortunate scene of college dating, “Single Girl” tackles the topics of love, lust, and relationships.