Hook Up / Sex

The Numbers Game

I can easily image a bunch of dudes sitting around, drinking beers, chatting about women with a sports game on in the background. Obviously, the conversation could really go anywhere and in any direction. I can easily pictures guys bragging to their bros about an “awesome slampiece” they managed to get in bed and do the deed with. I can easily see these men also bragging about their number. Regardless of your gender, I’m sure you can see this scenario as well. Maybe that’s sexiest. But, can you picture a bunch of women bragging about their number? I didn’t think so either.

Sure, women gossip about men and their sex lives all the time. It’s only natural. But, when one of your friends reveals her number and it’s so different from yours you either become super judgmental or embarrassed that your number isn’t as high. Since when has the number of guys you’ve slept with become a thing? Why do numbers matter? And why are women who have higher numbers judged for their sexual activity? As mentioned earlier, if guys were having this conversation, the higher the better. But when it comes to female’s numbers, the higher the number, the bigger “slut” she is.

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Obviously there is no universal number of guys a woman is allowed to sleep with. Though some may find an ideal number, there are some things you need to keep in mind when thinking of this number:

The Culture: For the sake of my blog, we are young women in 2013 living in an Americanize culture. Therefore, it is more common in this day and age to find a rando and hook up with him. It’s also more common to have sex at an earlier age—leaving the likelihood of a higher number well, pretty high.

Age: When did you start having sex? Its no mystery that most adolescent relationships are short lived and while some girls think having sex will keep a relationship, it usually doesn’t. Therefore, if a woman has had a significant amount of boyfriends in the past, especially in her youth, her number probably correlates correctly with the number of guys she dated.

Timing: Some guys will obviously be turned off by such high numbers as having more partners usually correlates with sexual diseases such as HIV and AIDS. But, we’ve all had wild times in our youth—some later and some earlier. Therefore, if a high number is due to time spent in college but then in mid-twenties the number of partners is less frequent, then obviously there is a difference and growth within this time period.

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Of course, playing devils advocate, it’s obviously not super appealing to have to tell someone that you’ve slept with 100 guys. Not to mention that a recent study in 2009 stated that if a woman has multiple sexual partners, this will lower her levels of oxytocin, which in turn will damage her ability to bond. Oxytocin is associated with pregnancy and release of sexual arousal.  Looking later down the lines, though there is no significant data proving this information, it is something to keep in mind.

Bottom line: Talking about numbers is a personal thing. Some women are higher then others and though it may be easy to judge someone—keep these three ideas in mind. At the end of the day a girl has to do what a girl has to do. Whether that’s hanging out with her boyfriend, a guy she’s hooking up with, a stranger, or waiting until marriage—each woman has her own prerogative that should be respected.

“Single Girl” is tired of hooking up with random dudes at frat parties, dealing with men leading her on, and always having to make the first move. Dealing with the unfortunate scene of college dating, “Single Girl” tackles the topics of love, lust, and relationships. 

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2 thoughts on “The Numbers Game

  1. “We’ve all had some wild times in our youth sooner or later”. Well I’m 25 so when are mine going to start? If youre going to defend girls with high numbers maybe don’t completely remove people with little to no experience (involuntarily) from being “normal”.

    • Of course not, if you check out a previous blog post “I don’t want your D in my V, what?” it defends women who are personally choosing to not have high numbers

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