Each morning as my alarm clock goes on, the first thing I do after hitting snooze a few times, is check my iPhone for new messages, emails, and notifications. Normally this is my favorite way to start the morning but as of lately, it’s becoming more of a nightmare than an enjoyable morning wake up. As I’m scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed all I see is engagement rings, wedding albums, Pic Stiches of one-year anniversaries, and Foursquare check in’s for a “couple’s getaway.” Talk about waking up and entering my own personal hell.
As if I needed anyone or anything else reminding me that my current relationship is “complicated,” the people of social media have once again, caused me to feel a lack of self worth. Okay, maybe that sounds a bit dramatic but think about it. Day in and day out people will update their Facebook profiles from “single” to “in a relationship,” they’ll post Instagram images from their dates, screenshots of cutesy (barf) conversations with their lovers, and constantly update their status like “HAPPY ONE MONTH BABY, LOVE YOU<3<3<3”
Talk about wanting to kill myself.
By using social media as an outlet to share personal details about our lives, we’re allowing to not only share well, personal details of our lives but also give people access to when a relationship starts…and eventually ends. By constantly posting on your Facebook news feed you’re “improving” your self worth by gaining likes and approval for what you’re doing. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with sharing accomplishments or talking about something exciting coming up but, when you’re constantly updating “I MISS *INSERTBOYFRIENDSNAMEHERE*” every day, I’m going to get annoyed.
No worries though, Facebook isn’t the only thing ruining your life, texting is equally as harmful to your personal search for gaining and maintaining relationships, yay! Remember in junior high school before you had a cell phone? You had to wait until the school day was over to talk to your beau and make plans for the weekend. Those were the days when constant communication wasn’t necessary and if you didn’t hear back from your lover, you knew he wasn’t necessarily mad at you, just busy.
I (as well as thousands of other 22-year-old females) am guilty of over analyzing text messages from the tone, what something could mean, and the length of a response. Texting is the easy way out; it’s a way to make an “effort” without really making an effort or taking time out of your day to keep in touch.
According to the New York Times, “Traditional courtship — picking up the telephone and asking someone on a date — required courage, strategic planning and a considerable investment of ego (by telephone, rejection stings). Not so with texting, e-mail, Twitter… it removes much of the need for charm; it’s more like dropping a line in the water and hoping for a nibble.”
Anyone can text and if something doesn’t turn out positively, there’s not much riding on the message. But, when a boy is constantly texting you, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s into you or wants to hang out with you either. Texting is a virtual desire that replaces our need for connection and intimacy. Therefore, along with Facebook, texting can cause you distress in your own personal and romantic relationships.
Whether you’re happily in a relationship or trying to figure out your way in the dating world, the best way to go about handing your personal life is to leave it off Facebook. Of course you can upload pictures and share statuses but keep it classy. The more information you share, the more likely people are going to hide you from their news feeds. And to be frank, most of us don’t care if you and your boyfriend went shopping together and bought matching outfits. Seriously.
In the end, just do what’s right; hide your friends in a relationship from your news feed and start picking up the phone to call, not text your boyfriend. You’ll thank me later.
“Single Girl” is tired of hooking up with random dudes at frat parties, dealing with men leading her on, and always having to make the first move. Dealing with the unfortunate scene of college dating, “Single Girl” tackles the topics of love, lust, and relationships.