I truly believe there are two types of people in this world. First, there is the type that will fight for whatever they believe in. These people genuinely want things to work out and will go to extremes to try everything before truly giving up. Then, there are people who don’t want to fight and will take the flight method. Fight or flight—you’ve chosen one or the other at some point in your life.
How do you decide which option is the right one for the right situation? I think there are two contributing factors to your decision. The first factor to be considered is what kind of person you are. Do you always know what you want? Not just in aspects of relationships but at restaurants, when shopping, when job hunting—how well do you know yourself and what you like and dislike? Or, are you someone who is unsure about what you want? Do you have a hard time making a choice about certain things? Or do you switch your answers back and forth? If you’re someone who needs more time to think and make a decision, this will probably affect if you chose to fight or flight.
The next contributing factor that I think determines how you think about something is through your past experiences. Can you tackle the problem head on since you’ve dealt with something similar to it in the past? Or is this a completely new experience for you? If something is completely new to you, of course you’re going to be a bit more naïve about the situation. In life you live and you learn.
Recently, I’ve noticed a lot of women in my life who have gone through relationships that are questionable. I’ve had friends who have dealt with men in their lives that string them along because they can’t figure out what they want. I’ve also had friends who are new to the dating world and don’t even realize when someone is acting horrible. What do I do in these situations? Do I tell them my opinion and save them from making a mistake? Or step back and let them make their own mistakes?
As much as I want to interject and tell a friend that they’re making a terrible mistake, I simply can’t. It’s an awful feeling to see someone you love completely miserable and shocked they didn’t see the road ahead. However, if they don’t experience the bad then how will they know what is right or wrong in their next relationship?
These people who have gone through these relationships are those who continue to fight for what they want. But when does it get to a point where you need to stop fighting and run away? I’m not the right person to answer this question as I always fight for what I want and usually will do so until I win. The endings are normally not my choice until later down the road when I realize I should have stopped fighting a while back.
To say you have to follow your gut would be a cliché ending but it’s true. If you’re thinking something and you tell yourself to stop thinking that thought, don’t stop thinking it. Don’t push away any feelings you have. Don’t challenge yourself. You’re probably thinking it because it’s what you feel and what you want. And that is something you should completely fight for.