Dating / Relationships / The Ex Files

Is Having a “Type” Bad?

My first boyfriend was skinny, had dark long skater boy hair, and had at least 4 or 5 inches on me height wise.

My fourth boyfriend was also super skinny, had longish dark hair that was more stylish than skater, and was taller than me.

My sixth boyfriend was abnormally skinny for someone his age, was absurdly taller than me, and had short dark hair.

Do you see a pattern or should I continue? Recently my friend Kristen and I were discussing “types” in both a good and bad way. First, I was talking about someone whom my friends have come to describe as my “dream man” and second, was a guy whom I complained was completely not my “type” at all. Kristen listened to me gush and complain but then made a good clear point–what is the point of having a type?

On the one hand, she makes a fair statement. Yes, we’re young and free and can do whatever we would like. I can date whomever I want and they can be tall skinny with dark hair or they could be short and have blonde hair. There probably isn’t a point in having a type when there is so much possibly. If anything, I should be open to more options and the idea of surprising myself.


Devils advocate, if I know what I want and what I like, should I really switch it up? Of course personality is something that trumps it all and is something that varies among every single guy I’ve dated. I’ve learned quirks I like and ones that I don’t. That’s the point of meeting someone new. So really, to me, maybe they visually have similar aspects to one another but each guy is completely different even if they all have dark hair, are skinny, and tall.

So maybe I don’t really have a “type” as much as I thought I did. I’ve dated guys who like sports, who play music, who are in frats, and even guys who are writers. I think it’s important to be open to possibility as well as know what aspects work for you and don’t work for you. You can have a “type” but each person can be completely different. I don’t think there’s in any harm is knowing what you want.

So go ahead and go on a date with someone whom you think is either completely perfectly or utterly horrible–you’ll probably be surprised at the outcome.




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