Dating / Friends / Relationships

Listen to Your Friends But Don’t Take Their Advice, Seriously.

With the recent turn of events in my life, I was thinking about how I have such a wonderful group of friends whom support me in my writing, my decisions in my love life, and my career. Without them I’d probably be in a therapist’s office crying about how I don’t have a good outfit to wear on a Friday night…but actually. In all seriousness, my friends are all wonderful people and will hear me out on just about anything.

Part of having a friendship is that you get advice when needed and you share advice and talk things through when your friends need it. I use to be a firm believer of this until recently when I found an article online which brings up the idea of venting to your girlfriends about your problems, but never actually taking their advice. Maybe that sounds harsh but really, if you think about it, each of your friends is coming from a different experience and background than you. The advice they share with you could be really intriguing and it would provide you with a different perspective yes, but perhaps it’s not the right advice for you.

When going through a break up you’ll have a friend who thinks you should go ahead and hook up with tons of guys. You’ll have another friend who tells you that you need to ignore the guy and just enjoy being single. You’ll have another friend who thinks that you should download dating apps and seek out the next big thing. But what if you don’t want any of that?

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It’s important to lean on your friends and listen to them but don’t take their words as the gospel. I think the woman going through the situation will ultimately be the one who needs to give herself advice and then take it.

So what if all my friends think this guy I met at the bar is super cute? I think he’s kind of ugly and creepy through text messages. I don’t have to go out with him if I don’t want to. I don’t have to take advice and go back in the dating world. So what if some people think I don’t need to be in a relationship right now? I don’t know if I want to be with someone or not, and that’s my decision to make. I need to trust my own gut and figure out what I want.

You know yourself better than anyone else. So please feel free to ignore the creepy guy from the bar, pursue the guy you’ve been pining after, and also hang out with all your guy friends that you’ve been ignoring for the past 2 years–if that’s what you want. I know for now, it’s right for me.

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