The phrase “Let’s be friends” has the same negative connotation as “We need to talk” in the eyes of a woman. It’s almost as though it’s a necessary step when going through a break up with someone. Even if all your exes say it, most of them may not mean it.
The idea of remaining friends post relationship is something that I once deemed impossible. I think depending upon the person and what when down during the break up, it’s completely possible to remain friends. I’m past the point in my life where I need to be spiteful towards ex-lovers and want revenge on them. If I did hate them, I would choose to write about them on this platform and share every single detail of every bad thing they did. But yet, I don’t do that.
There are two types of post relationship friendships that people can have. The first type is an ex whom you can actually be friends with. A guy who then becomes your bestie whom you can confide in, will allow him to be your wingman (hell, he’ll probably volunteer for the job), and will eventually be there for you when guy drama happens. This type is someone who genuinely wants to be your friend and respects you as an individual and an ex girlfriend. I thank the guy who treats me like this because I know a lot of women will rarely experience this type of ex boyfriend and friendship.
The second type of ex who says he wants to be your friend but actually only wants to use you for sex. This guy will be an acquaintance who pretends to be interested in your life. He’ll ask you questions about work, your friends, and then he’ll go on and ramble about himself. It will all seem genuine until the moment he asks you to hook up with him. This is the type of guy who has little to no respect for you at all and will be confused when you get angry at him for even thinking of the idea of hooking up with you. Unfortunately a close girlfriend of mine had to experience this type of “friendship” recently.
Both men and women can’t just expect to break up with someone and think that everything is okay and that the power is in their hands. This isn’t the “Blank Space” music video where I can hold an apple and make my ex do anything I want. This is the real world and in the real world people have to realize that you can’t just expect to have someone do something for you when they don’t want to. And if someone rejects you and realizes the snake you’re being, you can’t get mad. If you wanted that person to still trust and believe you and want to have sex with you then you shouldn’t have broken up with them in the first place.
Everything that happens to you is your own personal choice. How you handle each situation falls on your shoulders. All relationships in your life—with your parents, siblings, friends, and lovers—need to have mutual respect in order to work. You have to realize boundaries in the relationship and understand that you get what you give. That’s life and that’s relationships. Either you get it or you don’t. And if you don’t get it, then good riddance.