Dating / Hook Up

Meeting “Men” at Bars Post College

The first week of being my newly single self, I went out with a group of good friends to celebrate a birthday. I was excited to have a Friday night out and to blow off some steam from the workweek. Before I get into the absurd details that is my life, let me back up and explain my intentions for the night.

I wanted to do something special for myself since obviously the week was not exactly sunshine and daisies. I went ahead and booked myself a makeover in preparation for my nighttime activities. I arrived at the beauty boutique wanting to try something completely new and the makeup artist was extremely excited that I was interested in experimenting with my look. Isn’t that what women seem to do? They’re suddenly single and they want to do something dramatic that makes them feel like someone who was never with their ex.

My makeup ending up looking fantastic and I was really excited about the look. A random stranger even stopped me to tell me I looked beautiful, it was so kind to hear and gave me the confidence I needed to have a good time. I was so happy to be doing something for myself that I didn’t even think about the potential of meeting a guy.

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Fast forward to the scene at the bar: I’m just spending time with my girlfriends and enjoying the music until a random stranger comes up to me. Okay, he wasn’t completely random but he was a friend of a friend whom I had never met. We started talking about jobs, the city, and how we knew the birthday girl. It was an easy conversation that went on for a while.

Suddenly the guy I was speaking with told me he needed to go. I wasn’t offended at all, in fact I was happy because I wanted to find my friends. He then proceeded to explain that he was just going home and wasn’t meeting another girl. Again, I wouldn’t have cared considering I don’t even know him but I nodded along and told him it was fine. He then proceeded to ask me for my number which was a nice confidence boost, so just for fun I decided to give it to him.

The night rolls on and this time my girlfriends and I are talking to another guy. At this point I am so disinterested in talking to these guys. I wanted to have a night with my friends and celebrate myself (but seriously) and I was not getting what I wanted. I walk away from the group and find my friend who then tells me that the guy I was speaking with originally has a girlfriend. She’s apologizing and being so sweet but really, I wasn’t even upset.

It was fun to meet someone and talk to them, sure. But it wasn’t like my goal for the night was to find a new boyfriend. My friends were angry for me and rambled on about how horrible men can be. But isn’t this information something we’ve all encountered before? I’m not saying all men are horrible but if you don’t have an investment in something, can you really be that upset?

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